Posts Tagged ‘Low Self-Esteem’

Give the gift…

GIVE the gift of… 10 day campaign

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We are so excited to be launching this campaign… Give the gift of… how can you make an impact on a young one’s life? Which gift would you want them to take away with your donation? Empowerment, Freedom, Peace? Those are just a few things that our young women can take away by reading DONATA: In the Mind of a Victim.

Here is what one reader wrote after reading the book… “I commend Donata for sharing her story. She is candid in the telling of her story and the reader will be deeply affected. I admire her courage for ending her abusive marriage and I applaud her for explaining her reasons for staying so many years under the thumb of such violence. With her unabridged candor she opens the door to a sensitive, ignored and misunderstood topic.

Not only does Donata share her experience with domestic violence but she gives signs for women to be aware of a potential abuser. Statistics are noted leaving you staggered. She also includes several organizations providing aid.

This is a must read for females of all ages, learn the signals, educate yourself on the myriad of ways abuse reveals itself. Donata discusses the phases of abuse, again doling out preventative information so measures can be taken and awareness is commonplace. This is not only a story of a woman’s survival but a handbook of sorts for empowerment.

The greatest gift we can give females is the gift of knowledge, empowerment and self esteem. The value of self worth is essential in the fight against domestic violence.

After I read Donata’s story it occurred to me society continually asks the ignorant question of Why didn’t she leave? Why does/did she stay? INSTEAD society should be asking the ABUSER Why did you hit her? How could you do that to a woman? Why didn’t you get help? Why? The questions need to be answered AND directed to the ABUSER NOT THE VICTIM/SURVIVOR.

I am a survivor, albeit not anywhere on the level of Donata’s situation. I was four months pregnant when I experienced my FIRST AND LAST taste of domestic violence. I walked away immediately and never returned, vowing to never be treated as such in this lifetime again. No one knew of my situation, not surprising since society assumes all is well if signs aren’t obvious, stereotypes aren’t fed. What goes on behind closed doors is unknown until it escalates to the point of recognition.

Once again, this is a must read, this could save a life, be the life ring someone desperately needs, this could be the answer the woman behind unsuspecting closed doors needs. Donata’s story could end the torture a 16 year old girl is facing but doesn’t know where or who to turn to due to fear or embarrassment. Highly highly recommend this informative and inspiring story depicting the facts and truth of domestic violence from a woman who survived seven years of hell, desperate to piece together her life and that of her son. A brutally honest voice from the mind of a victim turned survivor.” ~Melinda.

One out of 3 teens will be, have been or are currently in an abusive relationship. Help us to share this message with your donation. Our campaign is running for 10 days on Kickstarter. The minimum is $5 to donate. Give the gift of…

More about the author Donata Joseph.

Thank you for being a part of this great cause. Please share with others. ENDS DECEMBER 23RD 7am est.


The wait is over…

The wait is over…. order your book today, click here. Buy it, gift it, share it. It’s a message for all.

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How many of us are bound by our daily life struggles… whether it’s relational, mental or health. You just can’t bring yourself to be FREE, Mind • Body • Spirit. It’s time to celebrate the essence of life, allow FREEDOM to look good on YOU.

Mingling and networking from 5:30pm – 6:00pm. The first 5 people to register will receive a pamper gift from DONATA. All proceeds from this event will be donated to Adding Doses of HOPE Daily Foundation.

It’s time for a make over starting from within :).

We can’t wait to see you! Save your spot NOW. Can’t make it, give a love donation :).

xoxo – Donata Joseph
Adding Doses of HOPE Daily Foundation

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month

1 in 4 women have been, will be or are currently in an abusive relationship. Is it you, your daughter, granddaughter, niece, mom…. even your son. Yes, even men are in abusive relationships. Some men don’t hit back when their girlfriend or wife beat them. Would you be able to recognize the signs if it was happening to a loved one? It’s more alarming for teens, 1 in 3 will experience being in an abusive relationship. It’s time to talk more to our younger ones about relationships. Yes it may seem they’re to young but if we don’t talk about it, they will learn from someone else…. let it be you.

Some cues that might indicate an abusive relationship might include:

  • Abuse alcohol or other drugs.
  • Have a history of trouble with the law, get into fights, or break and destroy property.
  • Don’t work or go to school.
  • Blame you for how they treat you, or for anything bad that happens.
  • Abuse siblings, other family members, children or pets.
  • Put down people, including your family and friends, or call them names.
  • Are always angry at someone or something.
  • Try to isolate you and control whom you see or where you go.
  • Nag you or force you to be sexual when you don’t want to be.
  • Cheat on you or have lots of partners.
  • Are physically rough with you (push, shove, pull, yank, squeeze, restrain).
  • Take your money or take advantage of you in other ways.
  • Accuse you of flirting or “coming on” to others or accuse you of cheating on them.
  • Don’t listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings. . .things always have to be done their way.
  • Ignore you, give you the silent treatment, or hang up on you.
  • Lie to you, don’t show up for dates, maybe even disappear for days.
  • Make vulgar comments about others in your presence
  • Blame all arguments and problems on you.
  • Tell you how to dress or act.
  • Threaten to kill themselves if you break up with them, or tell you that they cannot live without you.
  • Experience extreme mood swings. . .tell you you’re the greatest one minute and rip you apart the next minute.
  • Tell you to shut up or tell you you’re dumb, stupid, fat, or call you some other name (directly or indirectly).
  • Compare you to former partners.

Some other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship might include:

  • You feel afraid to break up with them.
  • You feel tied down, feel like you have to check-in.
  • You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that the other person won’t get mad.
  • You tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine.
  • You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.
  • You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy.
  • You find the physical or emotional abuse getting worse over time.

Adapted from the Domestic Abuse Project (

A Welcome Steady Spotlight on Teen Dating Violence

Teens and Dating Violence

Dating Violence Statistics



~ Donata Joseph



The Internal Battle is Over

battleThe Internal Battle is Over, well at least one of many is over. I hate medication. Anyone that’s visited my website knows that I feel medication should be the lassssssst source of treatment. Of course, that depends on the person and how severe their ADHD is. I finally after 2 years of exhausting all other options put my son on medication. In January, he started with Adderall 5mg xr. That actually made him worse. As soon as the Adderall started to wear off he became very aggressive, jumping all over the place (LITERALLY), mean, ready to hit – even me. Not the type of behavior I expected. After 3 weeks I took him off. After that horrible experience it took me a few months but I decided to try again. This time they gave him Concerta. This, I must say was the best thing that happened to him. He is 100% himself with more focus and attention during the school day. I don’t see a big change when it wears off and he is not walking around looking like a child on heavy medication. The first week we didn’t tell his teacher to see if she noticed a difference. It was hard for him to keep that secret, everyday he wanted to know if he could tell his teacher. On Friday of the first week, I called the teacher to see if there was a change in his behavior. She noticed that when he was done with his work he would pull out a book to read. He doesn’t tap on the table constantly as he used to. He stays in his seat more and does not disrupt the other students. He’s not humming constantly. He keeps his feet to himself. He’s not having to forfeit P.E. for the day. She said that she could go thru a lesson without having to stop and redirect him constantly. That was great news to me considering I used to get a call or text message 3-4 times a week. The first week I also noticed on his daily progress report that in the mornings he was getting 8-10’s and in the afternoon below a five. So the first trial of meds didn’t last long enough. After two weeks we increased the Concerta to 27mg which takes him till about 5pm. So I really don’t get to see the calmer side of him, which is fine with me. My main goal is to get him to a place where he can learn in school. It took me a long time to see that he really needed to be on medication to do better in school.

With the internal fight of meds or no meds I interfered with his education. He is a year behind in his reading which has affected his self esteem. Kids laugh at him because he has trouble reading and he constantly puts himself down. Even at this age, kids keep things to themselves. He was always extremely angry when it came to reading time at home. When he struggled with a word I would jump in and help. That made it worse, he would yell “I’m not stupid…don’t help me“. So one time I stopped, made him calm down and asked why did he always feel stupid when he struggled with a word- that triggered all the feelings that he was holding in and he broke down and cried. He explained that a kid in school would tease him and call him stupid and other names. He felt he was dumb….etc. After lots of crying and talking I helped him understand what he was going thru and how we were going to make it better. I told him it didn’t matter what age you are, there will always be someone around to put you down.  It’s how we handle the comments that makes or breaks us. It’s how we think of ourselves that matters. He has taken much more pride in his reading even when he struggles now he doesn’t give up :-).

Although summer time is fun time for a lot of kids, he and I decided it was time to put several programs in place to help him catch up. He is taking his medication everyday, he is going to counseling once a week, we enrolled him in tutoring with Kumon, he will be going to a one month reading camp and he starts Karate this weekend. Lucky for me he enjoys all that’s going on for the summer and doesn’t feel like he is missing out on too much fun.

The best thing in all of this is – I realize in order to help my son, I need to help myself first. So I also decided to stop fooling myself to think I could do this without meds and started my prescription this week. I’ll blog on that adventure later ;-).

~ Donata Joseph

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